I was thinking the other day...scary I know! I do a lot of things that are probably frowned upon in the mothering world. As all mothers know multitasking becomes second nature once you have a kid. Add more than one kid to that mix and it becomes your First, Middle, and Last Name. Point is, if you want to be a mother AND a somewhat normal member of society sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. These things don't always bode well with the 'rules' of society and child rearing.
You are already compiling a list in your head of things you do aren't you? Here are a few tasty morsels I do with my kids. Oh if the sweet old ladies Oooooing and Ahhing over my kids during my weekly Publix trip only knew! But seriously, I have actually been admonished by some!
1. Hilarious inappropriate jokes- Laughter gets me through most days. I always say, when all else fails, you gotta laugh at it! By all accounts I have a weird sense of humor. I describe my humor as immature middle schooler...has to explain my enjoyment in teaching 7th and 8th graders. The more I can get Brennan to have a serious convo with me where the things she says are inappropriate the better.
Examples include but are certainly not limited to anything having to do with her and Caden playing with their balls...toy balls that is and Daddy's favorite singer being Taylor Swift, Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, or any singer in which he would be horrified for her to proclaim in public (this one we have been working on for awhile...she has yet to do it but the hard work and time invested will be well worth it when it happens!). His real favorite band is Avett Brothers in case you fail to see the humor.
2. I leave my kids unattended- I leave Princess B in the bath while I get Caden ready for bed...I can hear her and figure if she gets quiet I'll go check, otherwise she is good. She spends hours in the bath and you better believe I take full advantage! I let Mr. C play in the playroom while I am moving around the house getting things accomplished...they are supposed to have alone playtime, its healthy for them right?
3. I gave Caden Peanut Butter at 6 months- and chocolate and honey and lots of things he could have choked on or had an allergic reaction to. GASP! He was colicky, I did my research, I was desperate, he is fine, moving on...
4. I use my keys as a teether for both of them- OK! This is one of the things that I have gotten a LOT a judgement for from all different kids of people...They both LOVE my keys and I even play it smart...I save them as a last resort because I know the keys are guaranteed to keep them happy and quiet for at least 5 minutes.
5. I use items I am buying in the grocery store as teethers- This is another one I get yelled at for. My kids are BAD teethers. When Brennan was about 15 months old, I had a bag of carrots that she was chewing on. They were hard and cold and she was happy so I was happy. A woman actually came up to me in the store and told me she was worried about germs and did I know she was chewing on them? I sweetly replied yes, I was aware and she moved on with a look of concern.
6. Unless we are in a public place I don't make Brennan wash her hands every time she goes potty- Seriously who has time for that! I don't even know she has gone potty half the time.
7. I let my kids make messes if they are happy- You wanna pull out all the DVDs? You wanna get water all over the bathroom floor? Go for it! I am willing to spend 10 minutes cleaning it up if that means they are happy playing for 45!
8. Sometimes when my kids start crying, I think its cute and sit and laugh at them instead of making them feel better- OK, not if something is wrong...but if all of their needs are met and they are just being bratty than sure, why not? When all else fails you gotta laugh right?!
9. I let Caden use Pill Bottles as Rattles...in public!- They are childproof for crying out loud!
10. When they are babies they are lucky to get their teeth brushed once a day- Again my kids are BAD teethers...the noises they make when I brush their teeth! You would think I was pulling their toenails out one by one!
Am I really a bad mother? Not at all! I am pretty sure not a soul that knows me thinks that. I rarely toot my own horn, but I will even go as far as to say I am actually pretty darn good at the whole mother thing. Do I do everything perfectly to the letter of the law? Absolutely not! What fun would that be?
I think us 'bad' mothers need to unite! Please feel free to share some questionable things that you do with your kids below...maybe I'll get some new ideas!
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